Sadness

What is sadness?

Sadness isn't just feeling low.

Sadness is feeling worthless even when you are the best student in your class.

Sadness is staring at your fingernails in class because it is the only attractive thing around. And you can't even look at it for a long time because you try to find a fault with it too.

Sadness is lying on your bed with blanket on and facing the wall with eyes closed but no sleep. You just want to lie there without disruption. You start to draw scenes of your disgusting life on the wall and realize the wall can't handle such filth too.

Sadness is having a face without a smile or a frown. That in between face. Where you suddenly forget how to form a smile or a frown. You realize that how all of a sudden it is such a hard task for you to even open your lips to utter a single word. A single Yes or No. 

Sadness is that throbbing pain in your chest that is accompanied with weakness in your thighs. Everyone around seems to be in another world while you are cornered by an unknown force to succumb to these fits of overwhelming pain. Yes sadness is experienced physically too.

Sadness is not only for people who can cry easily. Strong people experience great sadness and it is a greater task for them to deal with it 'cos they do not use tears as a means of escape. Now imagine the trauma of having kept in all those tears and pain.

Sadness is wanting to self destruct but fearing to. You want to cut yourself but you don't want your mother to cry. So you decide to destruct your heart instead. 

Sadness isn't just a feeling. Sadness kills.