Rape and Mythology.

As a woman in flesh I've failed to guard myself from rape.
My tears did not stop him.
My nails did not scare him.
And the self defence I was taught as a child did not outpower him.
I've failed as a human so let me be magic.

Let me be Succubus.
I will take the form of all the beautiful women you imagine I will enter your dreams and seduce you to rape me in your dreams because dreams are better than reality.
And if you surpass your dreams and touch me in reality.

Then let me be Medusa.
I will turn each of your cell into stone before you turn my heart into one.
And if you go home to sleep peacefully after the rape.

Then let me be Empusa.
I will feast on your blood as you sleep. Then I will have the strength I need.

Let me be Draupadi.
I will wash my hair with your blood that's left behind.

Let me be Arachne.
I will pull out your nerves and veins  and weave them. One on one. Blue and green. Until I hear your blood scream. I will weave them day and night with all my might.
And feed them to the demons. They wouldn't touch it because humans are scarier than demons now.

And if you dare touch me again.

Let me be Laxmi.
I will rise out of my blood churning and cause havoc in your life.

Let me be Ganga.
And flood you with tears of regret all your life. But I will spare your wife.

Let me be Amba.
If I can wait 25 years to find me a husband. I can wait 2 lifetimes for vengeance.

I've failed as a human.
Let me be magic.

But would you stop if I'm magic?
No.

You would be Typhon.
The father of all demons. Your hands would stretch East and West to get a feel. Leaving me with a pain impossible to heal.
Your Dragon heads would swallow my Medusa and her crown. Forget about being a stone.

You would be Akaname.
And along with the filth you would lick away my chastity too.

You would be Raavan.
And not touch my body but rape my mind and the world would think you are kind.

You would be Ram.
And Let me go through fire. Not once not twice but every time you doubt your wife.

I've failed as a human.
I've failed as magic.

P.S - I wrote this for a poetry competition themed "Mythology"

Forced Smile- A Classroom Incident

Today I attended a 3-hour lecture on Research. It was a very long lecture.
My personality has changed a lot over the past year because I no longer smile when I'm around people. My everyday classroom routine is such that I don't talk to anyone unless there is an academic purpose. So you can say I talk to around 3-4 out of 50 people once or twice a week. Because I don't find the necessity to communicate with my classmates otherwise and I am least bothered about what they think of me. Maybe they think I'm the silent type or the attitude type. I'm neither of them and I am a very loud person. It is safe to say "I was".
I don't smile/laugh unless around my school friends, who I meet once or twice a month. Again, I don't feel the need to smile at people I don't want to be friends with. I'm at that stage in life where I have zero regards for friendship. I don't want to make friends. I've well experienced the taste of friendship, the sweet and bitter of it :)
So, at the end of the 3-hour lecture, I was sipping my water and the professor turns to me and asks "Are you hungry?"
I replied "NO" with a smirk. He then asks,
"Are you so depressed in life?"
I replied "NO" with a smile. And the whole class laughs.
 Well, I am depressed. But the main point of focus here is that this was only the third time he had seen me. So what made him think I was depressed? Is it because I was not smiling?
Is smiling and laughing a part of classroom decorum? Since when? It's my face and I choose how I need to express.
Was he concerned or just pointing out my flaw in front of the whole class?
I know for sure he wouldn't have asked it to the other students who smile 24/7.
There is no need to point out such in public and forcing people to smile or laugh is VERY wrong.