You kissed my soul, but married another.

                                     
You kissed my soul, but married another.
Soon you will kiss hers too.
I would lie all night envying her in your arms, drawn close to your chest like there's no harm that could near her.
I believed you'd love me all your life, until,
You kissed my soul, but married another.

Not all wounds show & scars fade.
For after you left, everyone that got close, learned my secrets & left me too.
Since I had the deepest wound, I wilted like a flower every night. Because,
You kissed my soul, but married another.

There ain't no choice, but I've made one.
"There is no second birth", my dad says.
But I'm not the obedient type:
I know we would be born again.
Now is that stupid? Definitely not, for I will wait for you there. Because,
You kissed my soul, but married another.

Until then, let her be kissed with the kisses of your mouth.
And embraced all night.
I've had it all once, I'll have it all again.
Maybe just not now. Because my love,
You kissed my soul, but married another.
                                   
                                      20 October 2015

People Always Leave

Ever since I started watching One Tree Hill, my perception of life has changed. Mainly due to the character Peyton Sawyer.
Peyton Sawyer is one sad character since she loses every single person in her life. And she comes up with a phrase saying "PEOPLE ALWAYS LEAVE".
It didn't make much sense to me back then, but it definitely caught my attention. This thought always lingered in my mind. That what if my life would end up like Peyton Sawyer's too. I was never mindful of people being in my life or them walking away. Because till then nobody left me.
But slowly that silent phrase started it's action in my life. The only thing that I was ever fearful of started happening. People started leaving. It hurt deep but at the same time it filled me up with strenght to accept the loss and I started loving that phrase more than ever.
I felt that sentence has a power and that it is really true. Yes, people always leave!
    Since then, I started drawing and scribbling the same everywhere. On the last page of one of my notebooks I had written " People always leave " five times. One of my friends wrote next to each line "not everyone". I was mad at him for doing so. Because for me 'people' meant 'everybody'. Every single person I knew. What did he mean by " not everyone"? When I questioned him the same, he said 'people don't always leave, circumstances make them leave'
Whatever! 
Circumstances or not, but people do leave. That's the conclusion. Who cares what makes them leave. Yes maybe my behavior chased them away or they didn't want to be a part of my life anymore. Maybe suddenly I seem so boring to them or they have found better people to replace me with. Or sometimes they think they are a burden to me and don't want to hurt me anymore. Whatever the circumstances or reasons or excuses are, people do leave.
Especially the ones that promised to stay!
PEOPLE ALWAYS LEAVE!
                      

I lie here

I lie here, my heart aching
Trying to scream, but something's stopping.
I lie here, jealous of those stars
My life unlike them, full of scars.
So deeply hurt, known to none
I love the dark and hate the sun.
I want death to come close and kiss
For there is nothing I will miss.
I want him to grab me tight 
So that I let go of this weight.
I lie here, my face in the pillow
Doors locked, my heart so shallow.
I suddenly realize death won't draw near
I decide to wake up without any fear.
To my neck twisted a rope
Ready to hang, with no more hope.
For one last time I envied that star
This was the last time I'd have a scar.
A scar on my neck that killed me
And I lie here, no breath in me!