I lie here

I lie here, my heart aching
Trying to scream, but something's stopping.
I lie here, jealous of those stars
My life unlike them, full of scars.
So deeply hurt, known to none
I love the dark and hate the sun.
I want death to come close and kiss
For there is nothing I will miss.
I want him to grab me tight 
So that I let go of this weight.
I lie here, my face in the pillow
Doors locked, my heart so shallow.
I suddenly realize death won't draw near
I decide to wake up without any fear.
To my neck twisted a rope
Ready to hang, with no more hope.
For one last time I envied that star
This was the last time I'd have a scar.
A scar on my neck that killed me
And I lie here, no breath in me!